Trouser Coughs

We don’t really talk about it in mixed company, but you know, we all fart (except me…I don’t fart, and I don’t sweat – I’m far too lady-like for that…hah!). Some people try to blame the dog, or “barking spiders*,” or even their babies. Based on recent observations I think the baby is the most believable scape-goat.

Lucy farts, loudly.

And boy can she drag those suckers on and on and on.

Adam and I have found ourselves, after an impressive windy display from Lucy, looking at each other in amazement. “Was that you?” we ask (and of course the answer as it pertains to me is “no” because, like I said, I don’t fart). How that much sound can come from such a tiny little tuckus I will never know. Is it our fault? Have we failed to burp her sufficiently? If so, does that make us bad parents?

I suppose the last question doesn’t matter much because, I’m sure, when Lucy is 14 or so, if she finds out I wrote about her prolific farts on the internet she’ll be convinced I’m a bad parent.

UPDATE: A little bit after I posted this I looked down at Lucy (who I was holding) and I swear she was giving me a “Mom, you are such a jerk. How could you write that about me?” look. Then she farted.

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*You have Adam to thank for that particular phrase…Adam; the man who calls his little brother up when he thinks of a great new term for farts. Adam; the man I love (in spite of or because of his odd sense of humor, I don’t know).

7 Responses to Trouser Coughs

  • Mommy Bee says:

    My dad used to blame it on ‘vicious barking spiders’
    My brothers (in their teens) combined terms like ‘fluffed’ and ‘ripped one’ to odd phrases like “ripped a fluffy” (um, what?!)

    In our house it’s a foof. I’m not sure where we got that…my SIL I think. In any case, we don’t use the other F word, it’s just foofs…my little one at 18 months referred to any action in that region with “goo-me, I foof!”

  • Laura says:

    I think that Adam got “barking spiders” from Monster! Apparently we have a few of them lurking around our house. He also likes to blame the kids, but of course they’re old enough to blame back now :)

  • MochaTrina says:

    Happy Saturday Sharefest!

    Well I fart and sometimes I try to fart on the sly without my boys knowing. BUT leave it them to humiliate me (IN PUBLIC TOO) by saying, “OMG, Mom did you fart?” Of course I tell them NO. Then they have to do a fart check amongst themselves. After they figure out it wasn’t either of them they start in, “OOOO gross mom. It was you. Gross………” That goes on for minutes. Then they tell me Moms aren’t supposed to fart. And I tell them whatever all those “HOT” girls they like including Beyonce FARTS!

  • Mikki Black says:

    Trouser coughing is a new one for me, and I thought I’d heard them all, having married a man with two brothers, all three of whom refuse to grow up. (It’s actually kinda nice, usually)

    My brother in law prefers crop dusting. He just breezes through and … … yup. Ew.

    Have a good SITS saturday whatever it was thingy.

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